This post is in the following series: Growth vs. Fixed Mindset

• Why Comparison Kills Confidence—And What We Can Do Instead
• The Truth About Mindsets—And How They Quietly Shape Your Life

“Am I Enough?”

I used to compare myself to classmates. Then coworkers. Then entrepreneurs. And guess what? It never stopped. The metrics just changed. Grades became revenue. Essays became exit valuations. Praise became visibility. And the same fear underneath it all kept whispering: Am I enough yet?

That voice got louder the more I fed it. And I didn’t realise until later that this wasn’t just about me—it was about the way we’ve all been taught to measure worth.

If You’re Always Competing, You’re Never At Peace

Comparison culture isn’t just a personal issue—it’s a systemic one. It teaches us that our value comes from being better than someone else. That success is a leaderboard. That losing is shameful. And when you internalise that, everything becomes a competition:

• School: Who’s smarter, faster, better at math?
• Work: Who earns more, speaks better, climbs faster?
• Life: Who’s happier, healthier, more “together”?

But here’s the cost: the more we compare, the more we suffer. It keeps us stuck in survival mode, disconnected from our intrinsic motivation, and constantly hustling for worth.

Comparison Starts in the Classroom

We’ve all seen it: the students who ace a test are labelled as “better” or “smarter.” The ones who struggle? “Not academic.” It starts young—and it sticks.

But what we don’t see are the variables behind those grades: who had support at home, who had prior knowledge, who simply put in more time. Still, we rank people by outcome, not process. And it creates a binary: you’re either good at this, or you’re not.

This fixed-mindset framing, as Dweck and colleagues explored in Psychological Science, reinforces the idea that talent is innate—and unchangeable. And when we believe that, effort starts to feel pointless​.

Adulthood Just Scales the Game

The comparisons don’t end at graduation—they just evolve. Suddenly, you’re comparing:

• Salary
• Followers
• Fitness
• Freedom
• Success stories on LinkedIn

Especially in entrepreneurship, it’s easy to conflate achievement with identity. You don’t just want to succeed—you want to outperform. And that’s a trap.

I’ve been there. I didn’t perform well in school, so I tried to “win” at business instead—to prove my value. And when I did, I started comparing with other successful people. But no matter how far I got, the game didn’t stop. It just moved the finish line.

Why It Hurts So Damn Much

Comparison feels personal because it is. When everything becomes performance, your worth is always on trial.

Psychologist Dr. Brené Brown calls this “scarcity culture”—the belief that there’s not enough success, beauty, or worth to go around. It’s a mindset of not enoughness. And it triggers shame, fear, and competition over collaboration.

Even in casual ways (“Who looks best?” “Who’s more productive?”), comparison tells our nervous systems: You’re falling behind. No wonder we feel anxious and burned out.

From Competition to Growth

Here’s the truth: comparison can motivate, but only in the short term. Over time, it erodes curiosity, confidence, and connection. So what can we do instead?

• Shift from outcome to process: Ask “What did I learn?” not “Did I win?”
• Celebrate effort—not just results.
• Zoom out: You’re not late. You’re not behind. You’re just on your path.
• Name your values: What matters to you? Let that guide your decisions.

A growth mindset, as covered in this overview from Mentorloop, helps reframe challenges as opportunities, not threats. It creates space for self-compassion—and long-term resilience.

Integration: Rethinking Success in a Competitive World

This isn’t just about individuals. Our systems—education, work, media—are built on competition. So if we want healthier cultures, we need to redefine what “success” even means.

In upcoming posts, I’ll dig into:

• How to build communities rooted in growth, not comparison
• How to design workplaces that value collaboration over competition
• Why “enough” is a radical, liberating concept

📖 Read next: The Truth About Mindsets—and How They Quietly Shape Your Life

Personal Note

Call to Action

Ask yourself:

What would change if I stopped comparing myself for just one week?

Try it. Track how often you compare. When it happens, pause and reframe. Shift from “they’re ahead” to “what can I learn?”

And if this hit home, share it with someone who’s also tired of running someone else’s race.